Couples Therapy

Relationships present opportunities to learn about ourselves and to fulfill desires for closeness, trust, intimacy, and sexual passion.  These same opportunities may be challenging when desires and longings are unfulfilled, when partners feel ignored, misunderstood, disrespected, abandoned or betrayed.  In addition to the inherent challenge of vulnerability and intimacy, relationships may be strained by external life challenges, such as parenting, illness, or financial difficulties.  When partners face such stresses, it is not uncommon for communication to break down, to have repetitive arguments that make partners defensive and shut-down with each other, and/or for partners to retreat from each other.

I work interactively and collaboratively with couples to improve their communication, deepen intimacy, and increase empathy and understanding of each other.  I help couples think about and express feelings that have become difficult to say to one another.  Together, we will work to understand and break unproductive patterns, to build on your strengths, and to imagine new potential for your relationship.  For couples who avoid saying how they really feel, I try to help them create more safety and trust.  For couples who who escalate and say too much that is too hurtful, I try to help them to slow down and be more intentional.  I have experience with heterosexual, LGBTQ, non-monogamous, and cross-cultural couples.

My aim is to help you find what is right for you and your partner.  If you conclude that the best decision is for you to end your relationship or alter the parameters, I will work with both of you to mourn your losses and move forward with respect and compassion for yourself and your partner.

Some issues where I have been able to help couples include:

  • Communication difficulties
  • Repeated arguments
  • Commitment and infidelity
  • Negotiating intimacy and sexuality
  • Changes in family constellation
  • Parenthood
  • Interfaith and cross-cultural couples
  • Conflicts with in-laws

If you have questions or wonder if I may be able to help with an issue I have not mentioned, please call 415.508.7664 or email me for an initial phone consultation.  If I am unable to help, I will try to help you with referrals to others who might.